Author Archive for Blazer Lady

Marta Mellinger: 1952-2013

All things come to an end. Sometimes life overtakes us and this truth has taken on greater meaning for me over the past year.

It is with great sadness that I write this final post for Marta Mellinger. Marta passed away on September 13, 2013, overtaken by a particularly rare and aggressive form of ovarian cancer.

You can read her published obituary at The Oregonian.

In so many ways, BlazerLady was an expression of Marta’s passionate engagement with the question: what does life mean? It was a question that fired her curiosity and inspired all of us.

It is all such a great loss and only now, as I approch the end of the year, does it seem time to do this final post.

I would like to thank all of our friends for their support over the years. Do what Marta told you to do, with all your passion and heart.

What question would Marta ask you right now?

Marta Health Update 05.10.13

Marta holds trimming shears.

Ready for making a better future.

I will starting writing again now.  There will be two types of blog posts — Health updates and philosophic meanderings.  Anything not labeled a Health Update will ramble at least some.  Promise.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  To all of you that have been calling and emailing, organizing and worrying, to those who shared food and stories and deep-risk honesty and listened when we cried.  Thank you.  I got through my first “bottom-out”, a time two weeks ago when it seemed to me that my body was ready to lay me down and die.

THANK YOU for getting me through that horrible week.  My bowels were not working.  I had a DNF (do not feed) marker on my chart because all food that went in came right back out.  So no food went in.

Finally we moved into action Read More →

Expecting the unexpected

Palm Trees in Scottsdale ArizonaThe good news is that Scottsdale, AZ in the spring is lovely and warm. We were there for vacation.

The bad news is that my digestive system stopped working for a while and Dave took me directly from PDX airport to OHSU Emergency upon our return. They are working hard to jump start my digestive system, which had stopped functioning due to Ascites.

Here is a link to information my condition, which is a symptom of my recurrance of ovarian cancer.

Learn more about ascites on wikipedia.

I spent the night and with good drugs and IVs I’m heading on to real food later this morning. My vitals were and continue to be good so this is expected to be a fairly quick turnaround to something more normal.

In any case my next chemo will be this friday. Along with the chemo will be a drug (Avastin) that is known to be particularly good for reducing or eliminating Ascites. Pray for me that it works.

Thank you all for the love and kind words.

Recurrence

About a month back, my clear cell ovarian cancer was officially diagnosed as “recurring”. It took a CAT scan to confirm what I think (in retrospect) I had known since late January.

Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of google research, second opinions and spiritual quandary. It was not supposed to come back.

But it has, and so it is time to write again, to share my reflections on life and to post occasional updates on my health to those of you I love – and who love me.

I’ve had one chemo treatment with Doxil. Another next week. Am switching doctors to Dr. Pejovic up at Oregon Health Sciences University, our local research hospital. She’s a gynecologic oncologist who is curious and passionate and willing to step fully into partnership with us.

We’ll be supported by consultation from Dr. Barbara Goff, head of the ovarian cancer wing of Seattle Comprehensive Cancer Alliance. Dr. Goff’s deep knowledge of current clear cell research will help us with decisions down the road.

I am more than my body. I am more than my cancer. I am a being of love and light, connected energetically with all that is. For several weeks, I attempted to live “with Hope” as my mantra. Didn’t work very well. I think instead I need to live with “allowing”, trusting that the universe is unfolding in exactly the right way at exactly the right time….and that my role in the universe is not yet fully written.