I will starting writing again now. There will be two types of blog posts — Health updates and philosophic meanderings. Anything not labeled a Health Update will ramble at least some. Promise.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. To all of you that have been calling and emailing, organizing and worrying, to those who shared food and stories and deep-risk honesty and listened when we cried. Thank you. I got through my first “bottom-out”, a time two weeks ago when it seemed to me that my body was ready to lay me down and die.
THANK YOU for getting me through that horrible week. My bowels were not working. I had a DNF (do not feed) marker on my chart because all food that went in came right back out. So no food went in.
Finally we moved into action at the edge of the doctors’ charts: marijuana instead of constipating narcotics, acupuncture (thank you Lisa!) and slipped in mango flavored aloe, the leading naturopathic constipation cure.
I was in and out of the hospital three times in the past month. My last trip in I was there 13 days straight. Please forgive any missed emails. It’s time to really move the ball.
There is time for healing and heading full force into whatever comes next. I need to get strong, then stronger. I need to learn alot more about my body and what it’s already telling me. There will be many more episodes to learn from. Here’s what’s surfaced so far:
- Committing to myself
- We need to be needed
- The mind-body additive of palliative care
- The gentle creative energy of Shrines
- My mission: Quality of living life and death, woven through with joy
- Kali Ma
- Practical, loving wisdom
- Peaceful ease
More later. I love you and am thrilled to be alive.