Blazer Lady

The Life and Times of Marta Mellinger
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The limits of knowledge

Apr17

Abstract view from Kohler Plaza, 10th Floor OHSUThis is a guest column by my husband, David Frackelton. I’m continuing to do the battle of the bulge, specifically my bloated belly. If you do anything for yourself today, be thankful for a functioning bowel. – Marta

“This has been the most difficult week of my life,” Marta said to me last night. I don’t agree, but then I’ve only been a witness to her suffering.

Let’s get the important disclaimers out of the way. We are receiving good to excellent care here at OHSU. Good when we have caring people who do their jobs with diligence and intelligence. Excellent when we have fearless partners in our continuing battle toward health. This hospital is, after all, a complex organization. As we float from day shift to swing to nights, we experience a new set of care givers who, among their many duties, engage with Marta’s rare cancer and the resulting conditions. Nausea. Pain. Constipation. Lack of nutrition.

And so we reached the milestone of a week in the hospital last night.
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By: David Frackelton
Posted in: Commentary on Chemo, Lessons Learning, Reflections

Expecting the unexpected

Apr10

Palm Trees in Scottsdale ArizonaThe good news is that Scottsdale, AZ in the spring is lovely and warm. We were there for vacation.

The bad news is that my digestive system stopped working for a while and Dave took me directly from PDX airport to OHSU Emergency upon our return. They are working hard to jump start my digestive system, which had stopped functioning due to Ascites.

Here is a link to information my condition, which is a symptom of my recurrance of ovarian cancer.

Learn more about ascites on wikipedia.

I spent the night and with good drugs and IVs I’m heading on to real food later this morning. My vitals were and continue to be good so this is expected to be a fairly quick turnaround to something more normal.

In any case my next chemo will be this friday. Along with the chemo will be a drug (Avastin) that is known to be particularly good for reducing or eliminating Ascites. Pray for me that it works.

Thank you all for the love and kind words.

By: Blazer Lady
Posted in: Commentary on Chemo, Lessons Learning

Recurrence

Apr05

About a month back, my clear cell ovarian cancer was officially diagnosed as “recurring”. It took a CAT scan to confirm what I think (in retrospect) I had known since late January.

Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of google research, second opinions and spiritual quandary. It was not supposed to come back.

But it has, and so it is time to write again, to share my reflections on life and to post occasional updates on my health to those of you I love – and who love me.

I’ve had one chemo treatment with Doxil. Another next week. Am switching doctors to Dr. Pejovic up at Oregon Health Sciences University, our local research hospital. She’s a gynecologic oncologist who is curious and passionate and willing to step fully into partnership with us.

We’ll be supported by consultation from Dr. Barbara Goff, head of the ovarian cancer wing of Seattle Comprehensive Cancer Alliance. Dr. Goff’s deep knowledge of current clear cell research will help us with decisions down the road.

I am more than my body. I am more than my cancer. I am a being of love and light, connected energetically with all that is. For several weeks, I attempted to live “with Hope” as my mantra. Didn’t work very well. I think instead I need to live with “allowing”, trusting that the universe is unfolding in exactly the right way at exactly the right time….and that my role in the universe is not yet fully written.

By: Blazer Lady
Posted in: Commentary on Chemo, Lessons Learning

My Claiming – Being a Forest Dweller

Nov14

Tall_Tree_Forest_Dweller_111312On my birthday, I had a “croning”. I “sat up” with a circle of women I loved and said out loud what I want to claim:

I am an artist. I claim my creativity, and that I have stories to tell. There will be many more to come.  Imagination is like that. While my creativity is mine, it comes from God.  I get to choose which, where and when to do what with my ideas. So here’s what I say at 60:

I will make beauty with meaning and love.

I will still put my energies to work for others, but there I will increase the time I spend reflecting and imagining, carving and building and making.  My friend Shann tells me this is “being a forest dweller.”  She’ll was with me tonight and I asked her to write a couple paragraphs about that for you:

After this thread is woven for blazer lady, I will – probably over the Thanksgiving holidays – launch my new blog site, Backyard Meadow.  Blazer Lady will stay here, waiting, for some differently personal posting should the need arise in our future.

 

By: Blazer Lady
Posted in: Art, Gardening, Jigsaw Puzzles and Nature, Lessons Learning, Reflections
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The Purpose of My Blog

A meditation on the meaning of life

To give me something to do when I wake up before 5:30, which seems to be happening more frequently. Also, to reframe my challenges in life as lessons about love.

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My Big Rocks

When it comes to my Big Rocks here is my growing list:

  • Family & friends
  • Living love
  • Experiences in nature
  • Art & creativity
  • Camp
  • Building connections across boundaries and barriers

My Work in the World

  • Health
  • Navigating change
  • Pragmatic optimism
  • Writing
  • Art and Creativity

My Favorite Places

  • Seth Godin's daily blog
  • Arts Journal
  • Shann Weston
  • TED Talks
  • Margaret Wheatley
  • Parker Palmer
  • YMCA Camp in Boone, IA

Recent Posts

  • Marta Health Update 05.10.13
  • Back in the hospital
  • Home is where the heart is
  • I get to eat toast!
  • The limits of knowledge
  • Expecting the unexpected
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